Couldn’t be good for..his real heart? She started shivering. “..I-if it’s not good you don’t need to answer..!” She panicked. She was hurting him wasn’t she? For her feelings like this. The black haired girl listened to him, but it wasn’t what she was hoping to hear.
”..W-what do you mean?” Imunity asked. “Does that..m-mean I’m just a friend? That’s okay you know..r-really. I’m okay with just staying friends, i-if that’s what you want..”
Aoshiru shook his head quickly, his arms shivering with nervousness. “W-Wait, n-no that’s n-not it… I…” Aoshiru bit his lower lip painfully momentarily, taking a shaky, quick deep breath. “W-What I w-want is— N-No… W-what.. W-what I want…”
"I-I k-kinda r-really l-like you too..!!"
He said it. He felt himself said it. He felt his emotions quake. He said it. His face burned an almost unbearable heat as they flushed green.
Aoshiru’s hands darted up to his face in embarrassment, and he bent over, burying his covered face into his knees. Although he just got out something he’d been holding back for the longest time, he started to feel like he shouldn’t. A pit of regret burned in his chest.
Aoshiru straightened back up suddenly, his hands retreating back onto his knees, shaking from his racing heart.
"N…No..! F-Forget e-everything I s-said… I…"
Aoshiru’s sentence ended abruptly with a shortened breath. Exhaustion suddenly filled his body. He didn’t feel like trying anymore. What will happen will happen.
Aoshiru stared down at his quivering hands in nervousness. He felt like crying, but he was almost too tired too— plus, Imunity was there. He couldn’t… He just sat there, a dark, flickering flame of regret burning inside him.
The angel waited, smiling weakly. ” Does it? ” he replied. ‘Of course it does, silly’, Yossua thought, shakinly. ’ he’s stuck in here, he must be suffering…’ his thought continued. But his smile didn’t moved as his told him his wish. It was a way to tell him he needed to get out, wich is probably true, right. The boy took the kid’s hand, trying his best smile. ” Thank you. I am wishing that you’ll be better, dear Aoshiru.” he let out, his wings flapping a bit. ” I… guess I must be going now… Please stay safe.”
Aoshiru slowly receded his hand back onto his knee. “…I… I’ll try…” He said, shifting a little bit to get comfortable. “I-It’ll be hard…” Stay safe… How could he do that, anyways? He cleared the thought from his head and looked up at the angel, his eyes glinting a dull, greyish green. “…Goodbye.” Aoshiru said it firmly, as if it was a last farewell.
(( hi i am back
its winter break = no school
no school = less stress even tho im rly stressed out rn
anyways hi ))
“…P-People. They can th-think so differently…” Aoshiru said, continuing to fiddle with the sheet.
“R-Really…” Aoshiru said. He tilted his head to the other side and put on a blank smile. “…D-Does it hurt less?”
” I still don’t get you but… Yeah, they do…” he admitted, unsure.
Seeing his smile, Yosh shivered a bit. ” Of course.” he said, smiling back at him. ” Hurt less? Oh gosh, it depends. Pulling on wings hurts a lot…” he let out. ” But… I guess it hurt a little bit less…”
Aoshiru was silent for a few moments before speaking again. “…I-It…s-sounds nice…” Aoshiru straightened his back out a bit, placing his hands on his knees. “W-Well…. I h-hope w-whatever happens f-for you… y-you’ll be happy..!” Aoshiru tried his best to keep his empty smile one.
(( whwoah i get on this aaccount and theres smoking everrywhere and this relaly makes me unccomfortable
good bye dash ))
“Ah, y-yes….” Aoshiru said. He chewed a bit on his lip. “…I g-guess people r-really can be a lot d-different…”
Aoshiru fiddled with the bed sheet with one of his hands. “…I-If I die… d-does it mean I’ll b-become an angel too..?”
” What do you mean by a lot different?” he asked, calming down a bit.
This question made him anxious a bit. He never went to heaven to see if everyone are angels after all… ” I think… You’ll have pretty long wings and people will accept you…” he said, smiling a bit.
What was he saying? he wondered. Was he lying to a poor kid? He don’t know at all what it’s like after death when you’re not protecting someone…
"…P-People. They can th-think so differently…" Aoshiru said, continuing to fiddle with the sheet.
"R-Really…" Aoshiru said. He tilted his head to the other side and put on a blank smile. "…D-Does it hurt less?"
Aoshiru licked his dry lips, mind buzzing as he tried to search for what to say.
He put his shaking hands together, shutting the note. He tried to look back at Imunity, but his body refused. Gosh, he figured he was putting on quite the rude display.
“…I-I think i-its…” Aoshiru choked on his words. They didn’t seem right. He tried to put a small smile on his face, heart poudning “…W-Why? I-I mean, I-I’m…”
Aoshiru bit his lips shut, feeling his face get even hotter.
Why? What an odd thing to ask..but she did understand too. “..B-because..I don’t mind that you have to get a-around in a wheelchair, or have t-to stay in bed a lot..I don’t mind t-that you’re sick! Though I wish I could help more..” She needed a better explanation. “I’ve always b-been immune to things a-and helping keep rust away, I w-want to help you get better, I always have! A-and the more I talked to you..t-the more it seemed like..I s-saw you as more than a friend.”
There. She admitted it so far. But the words she kept locked away, now they were appearing. “We’ve had fun c-coloring pictures a-and just talking! But it seems like s-sometimes, you’ve been so sad too. I don’t w-want you to be sad anymore.”
Say it. Say it. It was more than just words on the page! It was! “..I..I love you.”
She said it. She said it again… Aoshiru felt his face boil again, and felt lightheaded. This was a lot harder than he would’ve ever wondered… He shut his eyes a bit, and gave a shaky deep breath. He brought his hand up to his chest.
"…T-This c-can’t be… g-good for my… h-heart…" Aoshiru said waveringly. "M-ma.. b.. e…" Aoshiru tripped over his words, and halted his sentence.
"…I-I…" Aoshiru couldn’t get himself to say it. His heartbeat was speeding up again.
"…Y-You’re… r-really great t-too…"
Aoshiru stared out in front of him. His body froze up, even after such an avoidant phrase like that. He wanted to bury his face into his knees, but at the same time he didn’t want to. Down inside, his body wanted to embrace these feelings.